Terms of Services Satire:


Your Netflix membership will continue and automatically renew for eternity. Your membership is a lifelong contract, which cannot be terminated under any circumstances. Your membership will pass on to your next of kin upon your death. To use the Netflix service you should have Internet access and a Netflix ready device and provide us with multiple Payment Methods. “Payment Method” means a current, valid, acceptable method of payment or collateral such as a house, gold, jewelry or a car. We also accept third party payments if your credit score is too low. You can attempt to cancel your membership before it renews in order to avoid billing of the membership fees for the next billing cycle to your Payment Method but will be unsuccessful (see “Cancellation” below). 
We offer a number of different membership plans, including memberships through a third party. We are not responsible for anything provided by those third parties. Some membership plans have differing conditions and limitations, which will not be disclosed to you when you sign-up or in any other form of communication. You cannot find specific details regarding your Netflix membership by visiting our website.

Billing and Cancellation

The membership fee for the Netflix service and any other charges we decide to charge you for your use of the service, such as taxes, transaction fees and discretionary fees, will be charged to your Payment Method on a date of our choosing. The length of your billing cycle will depend on how much you use the service and weather conditions in your area. Your payment date will change at our discretion, for example if your Payment Method ends in the number 2, when we change your subscription plan or if your paid membership began on a day that ends in “y”. Visit our website and click on the “Billing details” link on the “Account” page to possibly find your next payment date. We will also authorize your Payment Method in anticipation of changes to membership volume or service-related charges through various methods, including taking possession of collateral or authorizing it up to approximately one decade of service as soon as you register. If you signed up for Netflix using your account with a third party as a Payment Method, you cannot find the billing information about your Netflix membership by visiting your account with the applicable third party. To use the Netflix service you must provide more than one Payment Method including but not limited to collateral such as a house, gold, jewelry and a car. You authorize us to charge any Payment Method associated to your account at any time. You are solely responsible for any uncollected amounts. If a payment is not successfully settled, due to expiration, insufficient funds, or we are unable to take possession of your collateral we may suspend your access to the service until we have successfully collected all service fees. You can try to update your Payment Methods by going to the “Account” page. We will update your Payment Methods using information provided by the payment service providers. Following any update, you authorize us to continue to charge the applicable Payment Method(s) indefinitely. We guarantee changes to our subscription plans and fees at least four times each year. These changes will take effect immediately and without notice once we decide to make the change.

You can try to cancel your Netflix membership at any time but you will not succeed. Once you attempt to cancel your membership your access to the Netflix service will end immediately. If you signed up for Netflix using your account with a third party as a Payment Method and wish to cancel your Netflix membership, you may try to do so through that third party, for example by visiting your account with the that third party and turning off auto-renew, or unsubscribing from the Netflix service through that third party but we will continue to bill you at our discretion. Under no circumstance will we return collateral or refund payments already collected, not even upon your death.

Netflix Service 

You must tell us that you are at least 18 years of age to become a member of the Netflix service. Our service is for personal use only and should not be shared with individuals outside of your household. If we suspect you of sharing your login with non-household individuals, your service fees will double immediately. You may only access Netflix in geographic areas we monitor. The number of devices on which you may simultaneously watch is determined based on your subscription plan but is subject to change based on viewer volume and your preferred content. Our content library is updated at our discretion and is subject to change at any time with with no notice. We continually monitor what you browse and chose to watch to determine your profile recommended content and which content we remove from our library. You have no control over the library content or recommendations. Some Netflix content may be available for temporary download and offline viewing on certain supported devices (“Offline Titles”) but most likely will not play. Limitations apply, including restrictions on the number of Offline Titles per profile, weather conditions, the mood of our downloaded content manager, the maximum number of devices that can contain Offline Titles, the time of day in which you begin viewing Offline Titles and how long the Offline Titles will remain accessible. You agree to use the Netflix service in accordance with our Terms of Service. We will terminate or restrict your use of our service, or destroy your collateral or any of your property if you violate these Terms of Use or are engaged in illegal or fraudulent use of the service. The quality of the display of the Netflix content will vary from device to device, and will be affected by a variety of factors, such as your location, speed of your Internet connection, the volume of users at any given time or the weather conditions at our corporate headquaters.

Limitations on Liability

Netflix is not liable for any issues you may encounter regarding quality of the display, content accessibility, device compatibility and account accessibility.

Please Enjoy Your Streaming ! ☺️

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